Available literature about what to expect after this procedure is rife with references to incontinence. For that, one is well prepared.
There were absolutely no references to constipation, except for the stressed: "Don't strain!"
Seems simple enough? Well, here's the problem: There is a virtually constant message to the brain caused, one supposes, by swelling, that constipation is present; and that message is saying, "Do something about this now!"
"Don't strain!" "Fix this now!" Repeated sans cessation. Aaaaugh!
One is ready for the occasional unplanned drip, as well as a deep red ejaculate.
Perhaps one wasn't warned about the "Don't strain"/"Fix this now" dilemma because there isn't any way to prepare?
No. That doesn't compute. A little prior knowledge, even a hint, might be enough to prevent a 2 a.m. panic.
n.b. One gains a more complete understanding of the various pressure points endured by pregnant women. (Mom, I didn't know. Sorry.)
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Brachy Chronicles 8--Don't Strain!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Brachy Chronicles 7--Film at 11!
Brachy Chronicles 6--La Ronde
There's a song lyric which goes something like "everything old is new again."
The "wet spot" once again means something it meant before it meant what it meant a day ago. Alas. Sigh.
In the meantime it's spring-like in Palm Springs.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Brachy Chronicles 5--Clippety Clop Clippety Clop
Ah, Dear Gentle Reader(s), there's a good deal of...um...er...voiding associated with brachy therapy. At 4:00 p.m. on the afternoon prior to the procedure, one is instructed to ingest 10 ounces of Citrate of Magnesium (n.b. It's a lot easier to take than the Milk of Magnesia my mother used to use with draconian mein, "I'm tired of standing here. DRINK IT! NOW!!!"). Then one waits.
A nurse said to expect results in 12 hours; it began to "work" in 8. It continued for 3. Oh, well. Consider the alternative.
The first stop at the pre-op room was a pleasant young woman who issues the uniform of the day, assigns a "facility" in which to change clothing, and, as a parting gesture, says, "Oh, by the way. You'll need (her voice dropped to a whisper [Really! She whispered! Why?]) a Fleet enema. Do you want me to help you?"
"No."
The procedure for brachy therapy itself is rather uneventful. At least for the patient. Some major z's. Afterwards, though, more voiding fun awaits.
First, the bladder doesn't realize that the plumbing down the line is temporarily skewed. It continues to send signals which don't get a response which causes more signals and more no responses and then the signals become rather frantic. As an observer of all these signal/response back and forths, one is at first amused, then bemused, then slightly frantic as well.
Drip. Drip. Dropdropdrop.
Drip. Drip...
A 1/2 second prrrrrrt becomes a "consummation devoutly to be wished."
And so it goes for 24 hours.
Then one is encouraged to partake of some over the counter voiding assistant--to prevent the necessity for "strain"--which ultimately produces a perfect storm in a 12 hour process. It begins with a gentle nudge, then there is a recession, then another nudge, another recession, then a veritable hurricane of super nudges, which lasts for hours before receding, slowly, and not without a moment or two of additional terror, to a mere rumbling.
Oh, DGR(s). What joys await the aging. Bette Davis was so on the mark with "Growing old ain't for sissies."
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Brachy Chronicles 4 -- The Next Step
After some three weeks of waiting for Kaiser's approval of the brachy treatment, word finally arrived that the procedure is scheduled for February 11.
Let the games begin.
Preparation includes lab tests: EKG, CHEST X-RAY, CBC, PT/INR, PTT, COMPREHENSIVE METABOLOIC PANEL, SGOT. (SGOT? What the heck is SGOT? For that matter, what is CBC, PT/INR, or PTT? Ah the things we learn as we shift chairs here in God's Waiting Room.)
Two weeks prior to the procedure, no intake of any of the various blood thinner, pain relievers and other assorted goodies such as aspirin, etc.
On February 5 there will be a Pre OP Visit at the Arnold Palomer Prostste Center, no less, which is followed hard upon on the 6th by a Pre Surgical Interview by phone with the hospital.
A clear liquid diet begins the day before the procedure; a ten ounce ingestion of Citrate of Magnesium is ordered for 4:00 p.m. on the 10th. (Ugh!)
The Seed Implant begins at 7:15 a.m.
On the 12th there's a Post Op Visit at the APPC.
On March 11 there will be a Ct Scan.
In the meantime, no children upon the lap. Stay 1 meter away from pregnant women. (That'll be easy. There are precious few pregnant women in my senior citizen circle here in Palm Springs.)
And there, Dear Gentle Reader(s), you have it.
As a side note, many people who have heard my tale of the original physician's suggestion for preventive maintenance against prostate cancer (an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away--more or less) scoffed, smirked, or sniggered at the suggestion. Here's another anecdote related by a different doctor, some several years later:
The good doctor (name withheld in case I could get him or myself in trouble), upon hearing of Dr Keith's (I don't mind naming him; he has passed on, alas--charming man) recommendation, said that he agreed. He then told me of one of his patients, to whom he had made the same suggestion, who was a devout Catholic. It seems the good doctor had to write a note for the patient's confessor in order for the confessor to grant absolution during the sacrament of Confession. (n.b. Unbridled Onanism is considered a significant error by some of the RC persuasion.)
Imagine. A note from your doctor excusing you from punishment for masturbation!
Agape. Be in good health.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Just about 1 year from now...
exactly, the United States will have a new president.
Tempus fugit! (It is to be devoutely wished!)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Grey Lady's Step to Redemption
Over at Trust but Verify, and Take That, RWNS, there has been an effort to take The New York Times to task for various editorial decisions which are felt, Dear Gentle Reader(s), to be deleterious to the health of the body politic.
Today one must laud the Grey Lady for publishing a column by Bob Herbert, "Politics and Misogyny." In it, Herbert delineates the various ways in which women are dehumanized in our society and the boorish and criminal behavior which such dehumanization fosters.
It is a must read.
Money quote, "We’ve become so used to the disrespectful, degrading, contemptuous and even violent treatment of women that we hardly notice it."
Herbert offers evidence of quotidian misogyny and invites a national discussion about the problem.
Kudos to Herbert and to The New York Times.
Let the national conversation begin.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Words, Words, Words
Dear Gentle Reader(s), take the phrase "African American," (please). What think'st thou upon first hearing it?
For me, the first thought is that it is a direct descendant of socially acceptable terms used to modify citizens of the United States whose ancestors were brought over on a slave ship in the 17th and 18th centuries. (A superficial search indicates the slave trade was outlawed in 1808.)
If that particular lineage is most commonly used, then what does one do with Senator Obama, whose mother is a white woman from Kansas, and his father a Kenyan?
Isn't the disconnect a worthwhile element in the senator's current (as of 1.06.08) political successes?
Obama is a living example of the "bridge" between the racial issues of the past and the present cultural shift.
This cultural abridgement is very seldom discussed in specific terms. One wonders why.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Brachy Chronicles 3--La Ronde(s)
The ads on television ("Gotta go!" "Getting up in the night") have a lot more meaning when one knows, really knows, the subject matter intimately.
When the problem is "double voiding," one eventually learns the steps of the danse pissoir. It's rather exclusive, so you might not, Dear Gentle Reader(s), know of its intricacies. Ergo, the lesson of the day:
What to do? What to do? The electric tingle has subsided, but it has not vanished. Should one stay? Should one leave? Should one hop on alternate feet? After a few years, one decides to acknowledge the lessening of the tingle to a vague, slightly, but only slightly, unpleasant reminder of pressing problems by taking a short walk then returning to give egress to the hydraulic pressure on the tingle's switch.
A close friend handles his dance step by waiting in place and humming a slow tune, which soothes the savage beast within, thereby allowing the hiatus to pass, which, in turn allows the tingle to pass.
Which, one might wonder, is the most efficient? One argument is that staying in place and marking time is an efficient use of body energy. Another argument is that the walk away allows another to step in and dance for a moment, with the proverbial wide stance, thereby making more efficient use of the context, or the ballroom, if one will.
Ah, la danse!
Il est heureusement; il est malheureusement. Mais, il est necessaire! Tant pis.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Um...What?!?
'Tis the season for all sorts of madness (not that there's a specific season set aside for madness), but small items in the back pages of the print media sometimes makes one stop, Dear Gentle Reader(s), to catch a breath.
For instance in the 12.23.07 edition of the Los Angeles Times' Real Estate section, we find this jewel of a story by Ruth Ryon: "Hip-hopping out of his Hills house." It seems Kanye West is selling his "house in the flats of Beverly Hills at $8,699,000." So? You might ask. Well, he bought it "earlier this year for about $7.2 million." In this market? A $1.2+ million profit? Hey, if it works...
Now, DGR(s), you might be wondering, yourself(selves), "Is there a point?" Yes. It turns out the property "is considered a teardown."
Teardown?!? Pay that much money to tear a house down? Madness.
'Tis the season to be jolly... but not frugal or even wise with money.
Bah! Humbug!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
O Tannenbaum! Ave, Maria!
The winter solstice is a wonderful time of the year to decorate the house with trees and statues, isn't it?
Deck the halls!
Silent Night!
Enjoy!
Agape.
Brachy Chronicles 2
A video showing the various stages of and treatments for prostate cancer can be bracing as well as teensily unnerving. Regardless, decisions must be made.
Early detection makes decisions somewhat easier. There's always the most invasive option--removal of the entire gland. Early detection, at least in the present context (location, location, location), gives the far less radical choices of freezing the gland or "nukeing" it.
In the end, the possible side effects really make the difference: with the freezing procedure, there's a possible side effect of losing bowel control. The radiation might cause some bladder control problems. Now there's a balancing act...temporarily walking around with a sensation of wetness, or...what?...pastiness? Hmmm. Urine or feces? Number 1 or Number 2?
Decisions Decisions Decisions. What to do? What to do? What to do?
Your chain, Dear Gentle Reader(s), is being pulled. Not for a second is any option other than nuking the little scamp considered.
There will be a "mapping" session via sonogram. Then there will be the procedure itself, the insertion of radiation seeds--the size of a grain of rice--via a small incision, and Voila!, the deed is done and the patient is back home the same day. A picnic in the park (albeit with an ant bite of some significance).
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Pobrecito Andrew
Andy Sullivan, Dear Gentle Reader(s), just can't let go.
Sullie saw absolutely nothing wrong with invading a non-threatening country and inflicting horrors upon its populace, but the thought of a Hillary Clinton presidency drives him bonkers.
From a recent blog entry: "Which candidate has evoked the most adamant hostility, the largest number of people who say they would always vote against him or her? You know the answer. 53 percent of men under 40 would cast their vote against Clinton rather than in favor of anyone else. I know how they feel."
Well, DGR(s), you know how I feel: Andy might "know how they feel," but he has yet to articulate exactly why he feels that way.
Language, Andrew, is your strong point. If you can't use it to describe, clearly, why you feel a certain way, perhaps the way isn't the way, after all.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Oh, Christmas Tree...
Dear Gentle Reader(s), don't be fooled by statements such as this excerpt, taken from an editorial in The Desert Sun (published in Palm Springs), "...the Christmas tree, while rooted (no pun intended) in Christianity..."
Pun or no pun, the "Christmas" tree is a direct descendant of various winter solstice festivals ranging from the Egyptians to the Romans to the Druids. There is even a mention of tree usage for festivities in the Bible. It is not, in any event, "rooted" in Christianity.
Trees, or boughs from trees (is there a bough from any other source?), have been used as decorations for the winter solstice for more millennia than from its first Christian use.
There's a wonderful web site, religioustolerance.org, which will give you some information as well as the Biblical citation.
The editorial writer in The Desert Sun might better have written that the tree was appropriated by early Christians for their own purposes. The legend of St. Boniface is especially entertaining.
Rather than to decry the use of "Holiday" tree, the ed writer should have decried the non-use of "Solstice" tree.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Brachy Chronicles 1
A year or two prior to 1988, the specialist recommended a maintenance therapy of adding force to the orgasm ("try to strain"). The referring GP recommended "an orgasm at least every other day for the rest of your life" in order to preclude prostate cancer.
Neither of those recommendations is as easy as one might suspect.
There is a great deal of assumed contortions associated with the first--sometimes to the alarm of a partner, or, should one be somewhat adventurous, partners. The second becomes a matter of obeying a mandate whether or not one wishes to obey. (It takes a certain amount of the fun out of the activity.)
Alas, while the procedures perhaps delayed the inevitable (well over 90% of male cadavers of men over the age of retirement have prostate cancer, as indicated by post mortems), the inevitable, after all, proves to be inevitable.
Twenty-odd years later, then, the result of all this is "Pathology Report: gl 6 in 10-20% cores on left side."
Thanks, however, to a brachydactylic physician, the early prognosis is favorable.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Birthing Responsibility and Education
Here, Dear Gentle Reader(s), is a very sad story from today's Los Angeles Times.
It seems one Leticia Castro gave birth to a six pound daughter, but then stuffed it in a trash bin because "she had thought the baby was a large blood clot."
Subsequent medical attention discovered " a torn umbilical cord."
This information is part of a story of a combination of murder trials and baby dumping. Isn't it, too, part of a larger story of personal responsibility and education?
Castro's story is difficult to believe...six pound blood clot, complete with umbilical cord? But I wasn't in the jury box, so we'll let the jury's decision not to find her guilty of murder go unchallenged.
There is a challenge, though, to the rest of us to look carefully and openly about responsibilities associated with procreation and child rearing.
Having a child is a life-changing experience; one not to be entered into lightly. Those children who will shortly be in the position to father and bear children need to be given all the necessary information for the best possible experience, and a good dose of responsibility also needs to be instilled in future parents.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Insulting Islam or Insulting Islamists?
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Television Moments to Savor 11.24.07
During yesterday's football game between Florida and Florida State, at the beginning of half time, a vapid television reporter cornered Bobby Bowden, FSU coach, whose team was losing (and lost! Go Gators!), and said something to the effect of "You're going to have to do better." To which Bowden replied, "If you tell me how, we will."
Way to GO, Bobby!
(The most insipid moments in television happen during these impromptu interviews. There oughta be a law!)
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Ah, Wordsmiths and Spin
DGR(s), you absolutely must zip over to a New York Times article, "Taking Science on Faith," by Paul Davies.
It's very interesting, it's plausible, and it's a touch sneakily "bogus" itself.
Davies' thesis is that science, itself, is a matter, ultimately, of faith. His argument is that, since science has yet to prove the ultimate moment of creation or to explain why or how scientific "laws" came into being, all scientific understanding is a matter of faith, not a matter of "scientific certainty."
Davis is slyly insinuating that monotheism has just as much claim to explaining the universe as science. And, in the way he couched his argument, there's little to debate.
The problem, Dear Gentle Reader(s), it seems to me is that science doesn't abjure a rational creator; it says with some certainty that there is no indication there is a creator possessed of the irrational personality quirks of human beings.
One of the many moments of wisdom learned from the good nuns at St. Anthony's Parochial School in Beaumont, Texas, is this little gem, "God can do the improbable, but not the impossible."
That sounds like a good riposte to Davies, but, DGR, you're welcomed to add a comment or two.